In late May I arrived at the palliative unit at the Grey Nuns hospital. Here, they are taking care of my symptoms - making sure I am pain free and nausea free as much as possible and as comfortable as possible. It’s not like a hospice, which would be just focused towards end of life. I can still get some treatment like antibiotics and fluids, but it’s not like a full hospital with goals of making me better. You have to have limited time to be here.
They have been doing a great job. They continued the long term steroids. When it was clear I had an infection they started me on a course of antibiotics as well until I started feeling better. I was allowed to go on daily passes home for several hours to see the house and the family. I had family over. My parents arrived mid May, and my sisters came all the way from Israel for a two and a three week visit around that time as well, and the palliative care unit were very accommodating of them as well. We had a nice small immediate family reunion, which was really nice.
At some point there were talks of going home permanently until the major symptoms return. It was clear any release would be temporary, but the idea of sleeping in my bed again on a regular basis was just so appealing, I was interested in giving it a go. In consultation with the wonderful and encompassing team we decided to have a temporary two day trial-pass where I went home from Friday morning to Sunday morning. I got to spend a couple last nights at my own bed, which was very nice. The first night was peaceful and relatively painful. But the last night wasn’t.
During the night of Saturday June 15th, I started feeling very nauseous, the pain increased and my bowels stopped moving. I ended up going back to the hospital at 6 am that day to get an anti-nausea medication injection. After several tests they found that the blockage has returned. The doctors increased the steroids and restarted the antibiotics (whose run ran out on the previous Friday), which made the nausea go down, but the pain did not subside and my bowels still weren’t working. That is when they ordered a CT.
The results of the CT were not good. They found cancer growth on my stomach which created an air pocket in the lining between my stomach and the outer sheet protecting the stomach. Currently it’s contained and held at bay by the cancer, but it’s dangerous. It can in theory rapture at any time, releasing stomach acid into my abdominal cavity. At that point I will have days or hours left. It can also be contained for a few more days or a couple of weeks. We don’t know, but I am definitely towards the end.
The head of the unit recently rotated and we got to summarize my current predicament - The blockage is definitely back and most likely permanent. She believes the previous prognosis given by the most recent head is still valid - I have days to a few weeks left. My greatest risk factors are ruptured intestines from bowels that are just refusing to move, or ruptured stomach, though ruptured stomach is much less likely to happen.
I have been put on a non-food diet - I am not eating anything and drinking only little.
This is why I’m finalizing these articles and publishing them now. I hope to be able to write more. If not, then know how much I love you all and appreciate all that you have meant in my life. You have been an amazing group of family, friends, and acquaintances. A person could not have asked for more.
Please remember me, and remember my legacy - be nice and tolerant to your fellow humans, be courteous and caring, be loving and forgiving. Take care of your bodies, minds, and soul. Protect your family and yourself, get insurance. Spend time with your family.
I will probably write another article here and update Facebook with it. I love you all and appreciate you all, I hope you show that love to your fellow human inhabitants as well.
With much love and devotion,
Amir
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